[New Story]: Welcome Nanieve Groenewald!

The Stigma

Hello everybody.  My name is Nanieve. I am 46 years old. I am was born under the sign of Cancer, I’m a writer and an artist. Up to about three years ago,  I used to be a professional dance instructor,  performer and choreographer. 
I studied Journalism and became the Production Editor of a couple of local publications. Currently I’m focussing on my own writing .
I have a sweet tooth,  love animals, rainy days and the colour red.
People describe me as eccentric,  I’m an extrovert,  I love passionate people and am suspicious  of people who have no passion.

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I laugh loudly, I sob as if my heart is breaking when sad, and my anger is napalm death when I’m pushed too far.
Ah yes.  And I happen to have Bipolar 1 disorder and PTSD.  I happen to have these disorders,  but they do not define me. They are part of me and that is all.
Both these conditions have an impact on my life,  but ultimately I am still at the wheel.
One of the greatest obstacles you face as a Bipolar disorder sufferer is the stigma attached to it. People don’t believe you are capable of managing your own emotions and affairs that require a sense of  responsibility.
If you are angry,  even rightfully so, people are afraid you are becoming manic. When you are sad they assume you are depressed.  
And this is perfectly understandable.  When I am manic I feel magnificent and yet I am told I become formidably scary and when depressed I, along with everyone around me, am dragged down into a dark abyss.
Those who love me, are more at ease when I am  “chemically castrated”. Who can blame them? 
However, in the midst of all this chemical and emotional chaos remains the essence that is me. I delight in the humorous,  I mourn loss, I dream, I am Nanieve.

I think one of my favourite places in South Africa is the Kwazulu Natal coast. I love the crashing waves that beat you down with salty, luke warm fists and then pick you up again in currents so strong they leave you breathless.  The lush vegetation and balmy days are bliss and I love walking on the beach at night, staring out at the silver-etched waters. It makes me feel so alive.

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3 responses to “[New Story]: Welcome Nanieve Groenewald!

  1. It’s wonderful to meet you! I look forward to reading more from you and enjoying more of your beautiful pictures :)

    Like

  2. Beautifully written!

    I’m 45 and I too have bipolar & ptsd. I love that you wrote how these orders don’t define us and how they are only part of us! I agree 1000%.

    Some people with bipolar disagree with us, which is fine, and they don’t wish to separate the self identity from the mental condition. To each her own. I always say “I have bipolar; I am not bipolar”. I’m a writer and words matter to me; they have so much power. I believe both our spoken and silent/thought words influence our subconscious, so the more we define our disorders the way we want to, the better! :)

    Thanks so much for sharing your journey with us. The beach you describe at the close of your piece sounds absolutely amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

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