Light is not the lack of darkness, on the contrary. It is actually the other way around. Darkness is the lack of light. Some would argue that darkness is an entity in itself which explains dark matter and dark energy but these are theories. I believe in the entity of light. Not the entity of darkness. I believe that darkness is only the absence of the entity of light and photons. Perhaps darkness is always yearning for the light because it becomes light when a candle is lit. All of this is of course metaphorical references to our beloved highs and lows. Please read this referring to our true state. An up and a down also equal balance.
It took me years to get to this realization. I carry light, only light and not darkness. Darkness to me is the silence. It is the affirmation of the knowledge of who I am when everyone goes to sleep. Darkness is when my inner being is telling me that I need to slow down. Darkness is an embryonic state, where I need to be reminded of my true self and my true purpose. In the past, the darkness overtook me and paralysed me. It was like a deep, dark, slippery pit that I could not get out of. The difference between the past and now is only this… now darkness WILL submit to my terms, the terms of light. Light – happiness, normality, functionality, love, laughter etc. All of those depart so that being and breathing are the only things that matter – when I am in resting in the darkness.
Light has nothing to lose because darkness does not overtake her; she simply retreats so darkness may bring his gifts. Those gifts are the silence, the opportunity to think and the beauty of the night sky. We easily fall prey to the responsibility of hiding in the darkness but the truth is we have to identify it for ourselves. Day AND night. The night is beautiful because this is the only time when you can see the stars. Don’t allow the world to take the night and make it a negative state.
A few days ago the lack of light hit me. I thought I was going strong and pushed myself to my limits without knowing it. Suddenly I broke down next to my husband who did not expect this at all. It was about something so simple – the gym. Yet in my mind the unravelling started and it ended in bouts of crying, doubt, catatonia and swollen eyes. All I needed to say was that I needed to rest for an hour and then I will be able to get back up, but nope. We tend to push ourselves while the people around us have no idea what our minds convince us of when we collapse.
When our routine is a little off, our body and mind compensates which often results in the crash we experience. I knew I haven’t had enough sleep and needed to rest but tried to be stronger and pushed on to my own detriment. It is so important that we remain honest about our state of being to ourselves and our loved ones. We need to identify and measure where we are at frequently. But that discussion will be posted on another day.
Also, too much light leads to a blinding hysteria! We cannot see clearly when the light is too bright – mania. It’s all just so wonderful and amazing and we can do things and save the world. Finding out that bright light can also burn, could take it away just as easily. The key is finding balance after. Be it after a bright season or a darker one. Find your balance again and see yourself clearly!