My CV has gaps. Explaining them has become somewhat of an opportunity to incorporate my creative side in camouflaging the raw truth. I have always seen the ‘raw truth’ as – I am incompetent and incapable of holding on to a job because of my condition. ‘I honestly thought I could save the world, mister prospective employer sir, that’s why I left my previous job. So… I studied something completely different from what I am applying for right now. But I am back with so much experience!’ Does that even make sense? I wouldn’t even hire me, I sound like a confused kid who hasn’t ‘found’ themselves yet.
So this post was originally about rights in the workplace but somehow these words are sending out a different message. The message being – this is what happened to me. Let’s be frank here, I am 30 years old and I don’t really have a career like the rest of the world. That’s what I always think – the rest of the world is sorted out and I am the odd one out. Honestly speaking, everyone cannot be Steve Jobs, Russell Brand, Stephen Fry or Ernest Hemingway (just to name a few). But that statement in itself is contradictory, hahaha! What’s stopping me from becoming the writer I always wanted to be? Am I not doing that already by blogging?
Ladies and gents, when it comes to growing in a career of your choice, whilst having bipolar, I have to bow down. Most bipolaroids I have met are fickle and easily bored. Sometimes I wish I could go back and tell myself no to stop, just continue and this too shall pass. Nevertheless, I crashed.
As soon as I understood that I needed routine and that loving myself means looking after myself in a certain way. I could concentrate on and focus much better. The anxiety still comes and goes but that comes with the ‘condition’ I suppose.
This is a short post but a personal one in the idea I would like to convey. Sometimes (in our case a lot of times) we lose our way and we stray off the main road. But what is amazing about us is that our road is never straight, it is winding, it is the scenic route. We get to see so much and experience life in all its glory. Even when it brings us to tears – WE LIVE! And to be honest – if our bosses and colleagues make us feel bad about who we are, it might be time to re-evaluate.