And yet another ward 13 Wednesday

Outside the main pedestrian turnstile entrance, there are minibus taxis and touts, hawkers selling fresh fruit, vetkoek, fried chicken and so on. From time to time school buses spew forth uniformed trails of kids bustling to buy snacks.

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There was an old woman sitting opposite me in the waiting room, grinding her teeth rapidly, but only the right hand side of her jaw. It sounded like frogs (or exceedingly teeny hippos, or a heron). The tempo was fairly constant, with an occasional variation, punctuating it. Granny got mad skills; she proved capable of laughing and talking and still grinding her choppers mightily at the same time. I wondered why she was there – I never found out though.

I wanted to punch her.

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I didn’t punch her. Punching old ladies is frowned upon.

As for the stuff I was supposed to focus on… Eh, therapy hurt today and the outcome at this stage is still, “give clozapine a bit more time to settle, but if it’s untenable, we’ll switch to olanzapine.” Shrink two suggested I use positive affirmations. I felt like affirming her nose in with my positive fist.

After that, there was a two hour wait in the pharmacy, accompanied by the sound of grinding teeth… Yep, the grinding gogo was there too.

I got my pills with a side of panic and pessimism today.

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13 responses to “And yet another ward 13 Wednesday

  1. ugh positive affirmations. Let’s face it, if that shit worked for us we wouldn’t all be taking the poison concoctions of pills we shove down our gullets daily

    Liked by 3 people

  2. “I wanted to punch her” – BWAHAHAHAHA – Oh, I get those feels daily. Always some little munter who makes me feel violent! I’m never ACTUALLY violent, but the intensity of the emotions boiling up inside my gut is unbearable sometimes!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Being very depressed I finally see my psych tomorrow for the first time in a month, shrink #2 on Friday. Don’t you hate it when they say that you seem to be unwilling to take any of my chirpy suggestions – you don’t really want to get better.

    Um, excuse me, when you are really overwhelmed by all manner of negativity you CAN’T embrace all those chirpy suggestions. If you could you wouldn’t be there. Duh!

    PS. More cool shots.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think you got mad skills for having the patience to wait, wait, and wait some more; for having the courage to see a therapist (I’m resistant); and for having the wherewithal to stick it out on clozapine <3 I hope things begin to improve for you

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aw thanks lots bud. Tbh, yesterday was one of those days when I came very close to saying “fuck this” and stomping off sans meds.

      Like

      • Really! I don’t blame you. All that waiting would turn me into a raving lunatic. Guess I’d be in the right place tho…… I’m proud of you for sticking it out. Dealing with our public health system is a N.I.G.H.T.M.A.R.E !!! I’m too scared to do it…….. ‘cos raving lunatic and all that. You’re braver than I <3

        Liked by 1 person

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