I Finally Had ECT

After the long wait for ECT, actually having it was, of course, utterly anticlimactic. I had to leave home at 04h30 to be in the ward by 06h00, by that time everyone was already up and washed and sitting waiting for breakfast and doctors. I had to change into a hospital nightdress; the nurse who laughed and said I look like a man the other day, asked if I look like my father today. She looked very confused when I said no.


I had my blood pressure etc checked and was then wheeled off to the operating theatre. Shrink one was waiting in scrubs, the anaesthetist peered sadly at the vein in my elbow before putting the drip in at the wrist. I had a blood pressure cuff on my upper arm by then and another on my lower leg . I had to undo the nightdress and have it at my waist, the nurse put 3 node thingies on my chest. Then I got an oxygen mask. The last things I noticed were shrink one putting gel on the ECT thingies and the anaesthetist saying, “keep your eyes open.”

I came to in the operating theatre, lying on my side with a slightly sore jaw and a bit of confusion that was quickly resolved by thinking slowly. I put the nightdress back on properly and was wheeled back to the ward. It was around 10am by then and I was given two slices of brown bread and a plastic mug of sweet, milky tea for breakfast. I was out of the place by 11am.

My hair isn’t curlier, my eyes haven’t popped out and now, some hours later, the only after effect is a little mild feeling in my jaw. My mood doesn’t feel any different, but that’s consistent with the research. I have another 11 sessions ahead of me (on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays) and I suppose I should update here again when and if something changes? Thanks for reading along with me on my journey thus far and for all the supportive wishes and comments. They’ve made a lonely process feel less lonely and I appreciate it a hell of a lot.

Thank you.


38 responses to “I Finally Had ECT

  1. So glad you got through it….extremely proud of you, & as you undergo each session I hope with all my heart you feel better and better.
    Remember Dr. Sherwin Nuland.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You’re not alone. Ever. Not while I’m here. I remember waking up with a rubbery taste is my mouth. I found out afterwards its the mouth guard they place in your mouth so as not to do damage. But that was many years ago. Maybe things have changed. Your hairs not curlier? I’d demand a refund….

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m upset that nurse said something about you looking like a man or whatever. Not very caring. Next time I’d mock a hair flip, turn and say “yes, I inherited all the hot genes from both mum and dad.” Well, congratulations on endurance and everything. I love you, I’m proud of you, and you’re fucking awesome, AND especially, beautiful.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’m happy that you are receiving it. Yes, it would be great if you would document any changes.

    So you had an oxygen mask too? I guess it’s standard with anesthesia. Did you get any jaw protector?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Love you and hoping for the best. You are in my thoughts. As I’m in a shade of hell here I’ll leave it at that and drop you an email on the weekend. Keep safe, my handsome friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love you, not least for calling me handsome. Actually bless you for that, seriously. Don’t forget you can also get hold of me on telegram if you like. Love you too and I’m so so sorry about the hell.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Took about 10 for me to be ‘right’ was supposed to be 12. I Was down so LOW. Meds ‘worked’ for a while, pooped out-changed-worked for a while etc for yrs.. But nothing like the ECT. Met a woman who took NO MEDS – just ECT 1x a yr! Didn’t think I had any memory loss (9-10yrs ago) but just realized I’ve forgotten a whole yr!! I have CPTSD (multiple Traumas) so not sure which it is – but have NEVER been that depressed again. I Have good meds finally I think. Low grade – Anhedonia?? but I think it may be the CPTSD instead of the BPII. Would rather do ECT again than change meds.. I hope my experience gives you some FAITH that for MANY it does work without the scary side effects . I didn’t care at that point – I was desperate..Have courage – takes a few to see the change. <3 <3 <3 Thank you for Sharing w Me – I seldom Comment – But wanted to give you support here!! xo

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I’m on the other side of the world sending you every positive healing thought possible. It’s my nature to worry so you’re getting some of that too. Thanks for keeping us posted, as you know my I.Q. is counting on you. ;) Hug hugs G-uno

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m so glad they finally were able to get you in. Round 1 sounds like it went ok. So glad to hear! I really really hope this works out for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I have a good friend who went through ECT and found it to be the most help she’s ever had for her lifelong depression. I hope you experience the same benefits. Keep posting, and know my good wishes are with you.

    Liked by 2 people

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