I’ve had three sessions of ECT so far, nine to go. Apparently I’m having seizures the way I’m supposed to, I haven’t experienced anything more than very temporary, very short term memory loss. The muscle pain is minimal, there’s no nausea.
Leaving home at 05h30 to get there in time is downright unsociable, but infinitely preferable to being an inpatient. I still hate it though, a big part of me wants to quit (but I won’t). Today I got there at 06h30, in time for the patients’ usual morning informal and very off key hymn-along. I had my blood pressure, sugar and weight checked (I seem to be losing weight) and got changed into a hospital gown.
When I was wheeled into the theatre waiting area, the blood pressure cuff went on again. When I went into the theatre itself, I got one applied to my arm and one to my leg. The reason for that is to act as a tourniquet when the muscle relaxant is injected, the restricted blood flow leaves the limb minus muscle relaxant, and that’s where the seizure can be observed. The reason for the muscle relaxant is to avoid injuries arising from convulsions. Since I’m under general anaesthetic at the time, it’s all hearsay.
I’m told that I might notice a change around sessions five and six, I’m told that it might be after that, and that it might change how I respond to meds. Today a very sweet nurse told me to think positive. I nodded solemnly; three years into a serious depressive episode I can’t even remember what positive means.
As an ECT veteran, I know it takes tremendous courage to do what you’re doing. I admire you and I’m thinking of you heaps.
Glad you’re having sufficient seizures!!!!!! I’m also thankful that you had a kind nurse tell you to think positive – so many nurses are taciturn or jaded, especially that early in the morning. :0
Here’s to a big, ‘ol turnaround in your mood when you get session 5, hell – why not 4?!
Sending you lots of love. Lucy sends her barky best.
XO
Fryane
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Thanks a lot, and I’m always grateful for your input as an ECT vet.
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Reblogged this on blahpolar and commented:
Lather, rinse, repeat. FML.
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Buttercup and I are holding out the highest hopes! It’s the “repeat” that insures things take correctly. I hope. ~All the best, Deon. XOXO (because that process had to be repeated)
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Thanks lots
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I went through ECT. I experienced severe memory loss, but the results were worth it for me. I’m glad you’re sharing your experience as you live it – thank you for your courage!!
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Thank you so so much for commenting, it’s a big help at a bleak time.
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Every time you’re done with a treatment the chances increase that you will feel better after the next one. Hang in there Brave Blah! With you and sending you positive thoughts and love and hugs.
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Aw thanks so much, I don’t feel brave at all
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That’s because you don’t feel much of anything but when you feel better you’ll realize you were extremely brave. Until then we will just keep telling you.
In 1985 I was in such a severe depression that I had totally, totally lost myself. But I came back and so will you. Xxxooo
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Hey Blah, I meant to say that you don’t feel much JUST NOW, but you will start to get your positive feelings back soon! Hang in there. xxxooo
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Thanks lots
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You are doing it! I’m glad and hopeful and curious and rooting for you and many other positive emotions :)
Ah yes, the mighty “think positive” phrase. I know that people want to be nice but man……
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Hoping this will be well worth it and a better turning point for you. It helped my cousin so much! Wishing you hugs and support!
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Thanks so much, that was so good to hear!
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Hope that the fourth starts to lift your depression, and that each subsequent treatment brings you more relief.
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Thanks lots
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Reblogged this on Bottomless Oceans and Moonloving Mermaids and commented:
“I nodded solemnly; three years into a serious depressive episode I can’t even remember what positive means.”
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My heart is with you. I read this post and it sank and I just want to reach out and snatch you up. You can be my long lost sibling and we can play silly fun music in the car and sing along. I’d take you for tea and drag your butt to yoga with me at 6:15pm. Guess I just want to say that I love you and I wish I could make things better.
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Thanks so much
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No thanks needed just know that I care💜
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Your dispassionate account helps to allay my fears over the entire procedure, and I’m happy – if that’s the right word – that your pain and discomfort are minimal.
I don’t pray, as a rule. But I send out a very heartfelt one that this works for you. <3
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Thanks lots
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Sorry to be late throwing in my good wishes. I have been laid low by some kind of flu, even 8 hours at ER on Tuesday (funny, cardiac arrest in your history raises red flags – and I get the ambulance bill). I’m impressed by your resolve to see this through and hope it will be worth it in the end. All my love, as ever.
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Shit sorry to hear about the flu (and the bill) and thanks for the good wishes
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Your a warrior! My favorite type of people! :) I’m sending you every wish that this treatment will bring you everything your deserving heart desires. Hugs G-uno
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Thanks lots
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I really do hope this helps. I’ve seen it work well….and yes usually around number 6. Of course everyone is different. I wish you strength and hope . I look forward to your posts and I hope those glimmers of humour come back to you once again. Peace and love to you from this fellow traveller x
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Thanks lots
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Loves, hugs, and cuddles. You got this! <3
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Thanks lots
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PS I hope you blog again
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