ECT Update

ECT 4 – while I was in the gurney waiting to be wheeled to theatre, a patient slapped my face (not very hard). I said to a nurse, “I don’t know why she did that.” The nurse said, “even she doesn’t know why.” In theatre, I overheard Shrink Two saying that I hadn’t had a sustained seizure thus far.

ECT 5 – I woke up in tears from the anaesthetic. Shrink Two told me they increased the voltage of the ECT. She also cautioned me not to get despondent at this stage. It’s too late, I’m despondent.

ECT 6 – woke in tears again and confused. Spent the drive home telling myself not to off myself. I’m not a happy person.

40 responses to “ECT Update

  1. I hope the ECT starts doing its job. If it’s not careful, it’ll get its lazy ass fired. In case it does any good, I’m holding out hope that it’s going to kick in soon.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I’m trying to figure out why another patient was allowed to hit you. That’s terrible.

    You only get gentle, warm hugs from here. Well, and kisses, if you put up with that sort of thing. :-x

    Keep listening to the one that says to stay with me. That deep, loving guy’s whisper, that’s me. You’re a treasure, you’re beautiful, and I love you more than you know.


    Liked by 5 people

  3. Best wishes! I had many rounds of ECT and with it ups and downs. Remember it’s not guaranteed but it also can be the key to helping meds work better for you. There is always a win. Be well!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Don’t be despondent sweetie the real good from your ECT will happen you are half way to success. We all care and love you so much. I am sorry you got hit, I’m sending you hugs.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. It has taken 6 months after my second round of ECT and I now feel so good. It is difficult, affects the memory but has quite a good success rate. Hang in there and remember you are not alone . Karen xxx

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Sorry to hear that progress is slow. Last year on this day, June 29, I took you out for lunch. Remember the good, I plan on coming back to take you out again.

    Lots of love.


  7. Since going off meds I’ve been having “interesting” responses to others’ life experiences and, well, here’s one:

    If it meant you not remembering people and having an opportunity to “start fresh” I’d wish for you an induced (permanent) kinda amnesia. I wonder if that would really wipe away the psychiatric slate.

    I’ve been thinking about bipolar and trauma and that sonuvabitch thing called pstd…and my question is for “professionals”…why can’t they work on erasing memory. Now THAT would be worth the treatment, whatever it may be.

    I really hope Aliens touchdown on your next ECT session and erase your fucking memories…not All of them – of course – only the really shitty ones.

    (ps. you’re still one of my favourite blogger people EVER!)

    You have inspired the tattoo I am planning on getting somewhere on my wrist or fingers – soonish – Stay tuned. xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Hello everybody. I’m afraid I have some tragic news about Blahpolar. On Thursday I received a phone call from her friend and neighbour. Blahpolar chose to leave the way he lived – on her own terms. I can’t even convey how devastated I am by this. I know that she has a devoted group of followers here and I thought they would want to know. Those of you that only knew her online, she was genuine. She was a lovely, generous person who found time and energy to help others in their struggle, even as if she was battling her own demons. Lately she was feeling worse. It was noticeable, despite her trying to play it down (I suppose she didn’t want us to worry, which we were doing anyway). You know that she didn’t go down without a fight. She tried every medication and therapy that was available to her. I also had high hopes for ECT but the breakthrough just never happened. I miss her and I will always be grateful that she was a part of my life.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I don’t come on here enough. This sad news makes it dreadfully obvious that I am so late to this news. I have been afraid to blog and yet Blahpolar made it a point to ‘reach out’ to me and comment etc. This blog is one my heart connected to. I am so very sorry for her loved ones..all who loved her. I do see how hard she tried and do wish that the damned ECT had worked for her as well as it did for me. It was a miracle that she deserved!! I am one who believes that she is out of pain and peaceful now. She did her best..and more. She helped others. Thank you for your example of trying your best. xo <3


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