My Fortunate Meeting with Dr Goodmood

I’ve been on meds for the bipolar non-stop for almost 6 years now. I’ve been on so many different mood stabilizers I have forgotten most of their names. I was starting to believe my bipolar is treatment resistant. In March 2015, I cut myself pretty badly and had to go the ER for stitches. They forced my to see the psychiatrist at the hospital before they would let me go home. This was the best thing to happen to me and my disorder…

waiting in hospital

 

I waited a while to see the psychiatrist (let’s call him Dr. goodmood). He spoke to me with such warmth and empathy and couldn’t hide his smile when he spoke to me about how he can help me if I would let him admit me to the nearest psych hospital. I couldn’t say no to his kindness and the hope he carried for me. So off I went, into Denmar for 3 weeks…

First thing Dr. goodmood did was lower the amount of mood stabilizers I was on from 4 to 2. Every morning he would welcome me into his office with those same hopeful eyes. We would talk about how I’m doing, what I’m thinking and feeling and then as it would happen we would start chatting about different aspects of psychiatry, psychology and religion. He was so willing to share his knowledge with me and explained stuff to me in such a way that I felt smart and his equal. This was truly a partnership with my health in the center.

partnership

He had more issues with my current perscription as it was, one of the things that troubled him was how much Ritalin I was taking. He explained to me about dopamine burn-out and told me that if I intend to go on to study for my Ph.D. taking as much Ritalin as I was at that time, it would not do me good. But in the same breath he explained that he could see I really did have ADHD (confirmed by the psychologist I was seeing while in hospital) and therefore Dr. goodmood only lowered my dose and explained to me how to use and not abuse Ritalin.

The last part of his legacy concerns my inability to sleep. He worked with me to a point where I am now only on one sleeping tablet and one low dose calming pill. It started out at two sleeping pills and four times the dose of calming pill…

I have been stable now for a good while, I was depressed earlier this year for about three months but we are almost completely convinced it was because of the new contraceptive I was using. The amazing thing is that that depressive spell wasn’t even half as crazy deep as I usually go and I recovered from it within two weeks after stopping the contraceptive. (message me or comment if you want to know more about the contraceptive)

This story has a sad ending unfortunately, well for me and South Africa, for Dr. goodmood, it is a good thing I guess. He moved to Canada to do his Ph.D. in psychiatry. :( I’m seeing my new psychiatrist for the first time tuesday and I’m so happy to say that I actually only need a new script, no tweaking needed, I’m doing great! I have been on the same meds now for 14 months (only some of the dosages have been lowered) and it feels amazing to be in a place where your meds are not the problem and you can focus all your energy on getting better. And this is what I’m doing together with the psychologist he introduced me to at hospital. Dr. Goodmood, thank you for all you did for me. Please come back!

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